As children many of us are told we can be anything, its as if the innocence of youth makes the people who love us want to feel like we can fly if we so choose. Then as we grow up for a lot of us, the idea that the universe is ours to shape is slapped down by reality.
Reality can be a shot to head or a door to open it comes down to how we choose to see it. We may each come into the world unique and full of possibilities but when we clock out of this world, no one leaves it without scars.
If you don’t have any scars then you are not doing it wrong because our failures, mistakes and pain is how we learn, are the challenges we must rise up to meet, to see how far we can get.
I envy those people who are confident enough to be who they are, that are not afraid of being judged, compared to, or failing. Those people that look at the edge and jump anyway, they deserve the chance to see how far they can go.
I am in a group that keeps their emotions in check, who puts a cap on my emotional self if only so I can limit the fallout from the that which hurts. I stay outside the tribe and walks the path alone because deep down you don’t have faith that you are worth it.
I tend to think that one of the reasons we remember hate and pain is because they are shocks to the system. They are immediate, visceral and raw. It is the evolution of our fight or flight response, our natural instincts that was once the difference between life and death.
One of the hardest things we each face in our own way is being able to tell our own truth. Telling those truths is not easy because it is about a willingness to be open about who we are.
I know I’ve probably spent enough capital hiding and dodging my own truth that I could have build a suspension bridge across the grand canyon. Is it worth it?
It is safe, it is comfortable, what lay on the other side of the bridge across the edge is unknown and our unconscious mind would rather keep us safe in what we know than take the risk onto that new and unknown possibility.
Sometimes I wish I could just be honest with myself but because I am still searching for that mission, for that story it is hard. I can’t wait anymore, I am on the path towards being able to live the way I want.
Never compare yourself to anyone else, what someone else does isn’t relevant. Comparisons with other people are poison, they will keep you down and not raise you up.
When we go through the crucible, when we fall and get back up each time you stand up you are saying that you will not give in. That is so hard to do, because walking away is so simple but we all know nothing worth doing is easy.
Don’t see a problem, see a challenge to overcome and how much more it will mean because we had to work for it. The only time it is really a failure is when we don’t learn and sometimes even then we will relearn those lessons in many ways and permutations before it will sink in.
I don’t believe everything is possible, that believe may not even be healthy and can lead to being paralyzed by fear, feeling like when you have a lot of choices you don’t want to close those doors.
Think of a decisions as not closing a door but a narrowing your focus so there is nothing that will prevent you from getting through that door, even if it’s made of steel and is a meter thick because you are focusing on just that one door you know you will walk through it, its just a matter of when not if.
I have to remind myself of that every day, that the like I want exists, that the story I seek is already out there I just have to be open enough to recognize it and seize it when it comes. This is where you want to be a little stubborn, you want your dream, that goal to be your religion, something that is non-negotiable, that you have to do, not something you should do.
This is my starting point, with these words in the hope I can find a story to tell, in a world of my own making.